Things have been kind of bleak recently, but I had a very interesting weekend. Rae Chi's grandmother died and I was invited to come to the funeral, which was a fairly traditional Daoist ceremony. I'm sorry I don't have any photos, though I'm not sure that would have been ok. Anyway, we got to the location and there was a huge tent set up, filled with flowers and shrines of various sorts. Big paintings of various Gods were around and apparently the grandmother's body was in a back room (I didn't go see that). I just sat outside and had tea for a little while. Then I went into the tent to listen and see. All women wore white hoods, daughters and grand daughters hood had a little red dot on theirs. One grand daughter had a red hood because she is getting married in the next two months. Male descendants wore white bandannas around their heads, again with red dots for direct descendants. Husbands of daughters had special hats - that's what RC's father wore. I wore the white strip around my arm since I'm not married. It's interesting to once again see how important family relations are in this culture. It's clear in the language, where each family relation has a different name, so where we just say "cousin," the chinese indicates which side of the family, gender, and older or younger. It's so clear at a funeral where family ties are being re-emphasized. And for someone like me, who has no extended family at all and is an extreme example of American individualism (in my disconnect from a hometown, shared values, tribal identity,etc.), it feels a little bit like being a Martian visiting earth for the first time.
Anyway, blah blah blah. For a while, the daoist priest said various prayers in Taiwanese and when he bowed we all bowed. Eventually we sat down then stood up again and bowed some more. Along with his prayers, there was a strummed instrument that sounded a little bit like a banjo but playing Chinese scales. I enjoyed that very much. Then, we all turned sideways towards a shrine and various bowls of food were passed from person to person. We bowed with the food, offering it I guess, and passed it to the next person. There were continued prayers, then we took a break and had some tea. The kids stared at me and asked various questions about Americans, but they were scared to ask me so they asked Rae Chi while staring at me. The one who was around 12 had been interested when he heard I was American, but once I told him I don't have a nuclear weapon or a gun, he was disappointed and lost interest. I guess I would be more interesting if I had a nuclear weapon, to be fair.
So, the three women in bright costumes (one yellow, one green, one red) showed up and started dancing with the banjo like thingy and priest, who's prayers were kind of song like. They started doing splints and cartwheels and flips over each other and the music got faster, which I really liked. No drums, but percussive when he got fast enough. People put some $$$ on a tarp and the girls started stacking rickety wooden stools, then tables, then some more rickety plastic chairs until the stack was near the top of the tent, maybe 10 feet high. Each time they stacked a new level, they would each do a deep back bend off the top, reach their head down and pick up a bill with their mouths. Apparently, these bills are the tips for them. They would put the $$ in a compartment of a little shrine in front of the priest that had blinking christmas lights on it. At it's highest point, multiple people had to hold the stack of rickety furniture, the other two girls had to hold the bending girls feet, and she would backbend onto a table she could barely reach, then, $ in mouth, flip onto the ground. It was really interesting, though I'm not sure what it meant as far as the funeral was concerned. Maybe they represent some spirits who will help the grandmother's soul find her way, but I'm not totally sure about that.
When they were through, one of them put on a white hood and mimed being miserable and weeping in front of the shrine. She banged her fists and wept loudly while the sons and the eldest grandson followed her around the tent. A reedy stick with red fabric covered with characters hanging from it(which contained some spirit, I think) was held over her head as she moved around in mock pain. It was really loud and shrill and didn't look too fun for the guys who remained stoic behind her flailing in artificial mourning. If that wasn't fun for the men, the next part was really not fun for the daughters. They set up with the mock mourner about 100 yards away from the shrine and got down on their knees to slowly crawl back to the shrine. The whole time the women kept howling and the music got sad. As they crawled, they cried and had to be encouraged to continue on with red envelopes and people talking in their ears. At the end, they kind of collapsed in front of the shrine and cried while the leader kept wailing. The men set up another shrine in a different place and did more chanting, a different priest leading them wearing another interesting uniform. For a non-spiritual American of Northern European background, this public grief was kind of hard to take. I don't enjoy seeing other people weep, and for me to let other people see my sadness is not polite to them, and would be extremely uncomfortable for me. Here, showing how sad they were publicly gives face to their mother. And I think people here actually like this kind of super dramatic, operatic sadness. It's certainly interesting as theater, but wasn't easy to watch and a cynical bastard like me can't help but wonder if it's all 100% genuine. Anyhoo, Rae Chi and her brother and sister were all crying and then we had to help her mother stand up and move to a chair where she sat, stricken and unable to talk for a while. And suddenly, the music stopped and the priest left. It seemed a bit abrupt, but I was happy to see that end. So we sat down and had dinner. It was low key, and after dinner I left. When you leave, you can't say goodbye (the chinese goodbye means "see you again" and you don't want to see them again in these circumstances, so you just leave) though RC's brother made a mistake and did say bye bye to me.
I'm very glad I got to see that, though the experience was a little draining. Not nearly as draining as it must have been for the rest of the family though, since they had to sit with the body over night to "make sure no wild animals come" I was told. In the morning, I guess they took it somewhere for cremation. Things didn't end until 1pm Sunday afternoon. That must have been hard - being sleepy and emotionally fragile is not really the best place to be in my opinion. I guess it gives them time to grieve and have family support during a difficult time, though a good night's sleep is also nice to have.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Kao san guest house?
I think this might have been the guest house that we stayed in. Maybe. I should have checked the rooms to see if they still have ceiling fans. But they didn't advertise rooms. And it used to be dirtier and more disconcerting. Or maybe I am just older and less easily disconcerted.
Kao San revisited (more Thailand)
And so, feeling nostalgic for the good old days, and aware of C's recent facebook comment about the tuk tuk, I decided to take a tuk tuk to Kao San Road. I really hate the tuk tuks - always trying to rip you off, take you someplace you don't want to go. And the best you can do is always going to be about the same as a taxi ride, which would have air con, no rip offs, and a more comfortable, safe, clean air type ride. Anyway, it was for old time's sake. Got to Kao San Rd. which was always kinda sleazy, but the interesting things that excited me when I first went there had diminished. Fewer shady guest houses, fewer burnt out hippies, more fast food chains and boredom. The book "The Beach" which wrote about that scene and seemed recognizable from the experience I had there, will be a purely historical document for those in the future. And it made me a little sad, even if that thing was slightly horrible and definitely sleazy. I'm glad I got to experience it before it disappeared, I guess.
Sunday in Thailand (3)
The next day, Saturday, I did nothing. Hung out at the pool, read a book, did a little shopping. Went for a little walk around a neighborhood, ate some good noodles, bbq pork, and wonton soup with vinegar chilis. That was it.
Sunday, I was more active. I wanted to do some touristy things, so I went to the biggest temple in Bangkok, Wat Pho. Saw a very nice reclining Buddha. Lots of fun statues and little stupas. This temple is known as a base for thai medicine and massage, so I was thinking about that, but the massage I found was priced too far beyond the norm for Bangkok. Lots of interesting shops selling medicine with Thai labels. I was interested in something for my stomach (the green papaya salad was SO spicy) but they were unwelcoming. The food stands, on the other hand, were very interesting, and the lime leaf pork I had was really delicious. I hung around this area, checking out the temple and surrounding area, until my feet hurt too much and I needed a break.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Fever Pitch
While I was in Thailand, I read Nick Hornby's Fever Pitch. I've never liked his movies particularly- they always seem kind of smug and pleased to be English. Like Hugh Grant himself, the movies just slightly rub me the wrong way. But I read the book because it's ostensibly about Arsenal and I was curious. And I enjoyed it. Despite the fact that it was all about a time that is long gone, I found some of the observations about being a sports fan accurate. The appreciation of pain and suffering was particularly valid. I also identified with the cathartic nature of victory and the almost religious tendency to associate the team's ups and downs with one's own. The writing was a little smug, but not too objectionable, and the pages turned quickly. So, not bad. Of course, I identified even more with the long suffering of Arsenal fans after the team blew a 2-0 lead at the very end of the game to a lousy West Ham team.
Thailand 2
The next day I didn't do too much. Walked around my neighborhood, hung out by the pool and read Fever Pitch, basically took it easy. I made the mistake of asking for a restaurant to eat at. Invariably in Thailand, the more expensive and the more westerners involved, the worse the food. So going to the restaurant that the hotel recommends for foreigners, with an English speaking waiter, was not a good idea. Dinner wasn't terrible, but it was 4 times as expensive as any other meal and was the worst meal of the trip. Oh well. After that, I went to see the muay thai, which was pretty fun. The price had doubled since the last time I went (almost 4 years ago) but I got a free CD. Sad I forgot a camera. The fights were kind of interesting - it's also really interesting to see the section with all the thai guys screaming and betting (I sat in the weak foreigner section - I can't bring myself to stand for so long. And I saw them refuse to sell the cheaper ticket to another foreigner, so maybe there was no choice).
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