My Saturday at a funeral - a long post

Things have been kind of bleak recently, but I had a very interesting weekend. Rae Chi's grandmother died and I was invited to come to the funeral, which was a fairly traditional Daoist ceremony. I'm sorry I don't have any photos, though I'm not sure that would have been ok. Anyway, we got to the location and there was a huge tent set up, filled with flowers and shrines of various sorts. Big paintings of various Gods were around and apparently the grandmother's body was in a back room (I didn't go see that). I just sat outside and had tea for a little while. Then I went into the tent to listen and see. All women wore white hoods, daughters and grand daughters hood had a little red dot on theirs. One grand daughter had a red hood because she is getting married in the next two months. Male descendants wore white bandannas around their heads, again with red dots for direct descendants. Husbands of daughters had special hats - that's what RC's father wore. I wore the white strip around my arm since I'm not married. It's interesting to once again see how important family relations are in this culture. It's clear in the language, where each family relation has a different name, so where we just say "cousin," the chinese indicates which side of the family, gender, and older or younger. It's so clear at a funeral where family ties are being re-emphasized. And for someone like me, who has no extended family at all and is an extreme example of American individualism (in my disconnect from a hometown, shared values, tribal identity,etc.), it feels a little bit like being a Martian visiting earth for the first time.

Anyway, blah blah blah. For a while, the daoist priest said various prayers in Taiwanese and when he bowed we all bowed. Eventually we sat down then stood up again and bowed some more. Along with his prayers, there was a strummed instrument that sounded a little bit like a banjo but playing Chinese scales. I enjoyed that very much. Then, we all turned sideways towards a shrine and various bowls of food were passed from person to person. We bowed with the food, offering it I guess, and passed it to the next person. There were continued prayers, then we took a break and had some tea. The kids stared at me and asked various questions about Americans, but they were scared to ask me so they asked Rae Chi while staring at me. The one who was around 12 had been interested when he heard I was American, but once I told him I don't have a nuclear weapon or a gun, he was disappointed and lost interest. I guess I would be more interesting if I had a nuclear weapon, to be fair.

So, the three women in bright costumes (one yellow, one green, one red) showed up and started dancing with the banjo like thingy and priest, who's prayers were kind of song like. They started doing splints and cartwheels and flips over each other and the music got faster, which I really liked. No drums, but percussive when he got fast enough. People put some $$$ on a tarp and the girls started stacking rickety wooden stools, then tables, then some more rickety plastic chairs until the stack was near the top of the tent, maybe 10 feet high. Each time they stacked a new level, they would each do a deep back bend off the top, reach their head down and pick up a bill with their mouths. Apparently, these bills are the tips for them. They would put the $$ in a compartment of a little shrine in front of the priest that had blinking christmas lights on it. At it's highest point, multiple people had to hold the stack of rickety furniture, the other two girls had to hold the bending girls feet, and she would backbend onto a table she could barely reach, then, $ in mouth, flip onto the ground. It was really interesting, though I'm not sure what it meant as far as the funeral was concerned. Maybe they represent some spirits who will help the grandmother's soul find her way, but I'm not totally sure about that.

When they were through, one of them put on a white hood and mimed being miserable and weeping in front of the shrine. She banged her fists and wept loudly while the sons and the eldest grandson followed her around the tent. A reedy stick with red fabric covered with characters hanging from it(which contained some spirit, I think) was held over her head as she moved around in mock pain. It was really loud and shrill and didn't look too fun for the guys who remained stoic behind her flailing in artificial mourning. If that wasn't fun for the men, the next part was really not fun for the daughters. They set up with the mock mourner about 100 yards away from the shrine and got down on their knees to slowly crawl back to the shrine. The whole time the women kept howling and the music got sad. As they crawled, they cried and had to be encouraged to continue on with red envelopes and people talking in their ears. At the end, they kind of collapsed in front of the shrine and cried while the leader kept wailing. The men set up another shrine in a different place and did more chanting, a different priest leading them wearing another interesting uniform. For a non-spiritual American of Northern European background, this public grief was kind of hard to take. I don't enjoy seeing other people weep, and for me to let other people see my sadness is not polite to them, and would be extremely uncomfortable for me. Here, showing how sad they were publicly gives face to their mother. And I think people here actually like this kind of super dramatic, operatic sadness. It's certainly interesting as theater, but wasn't easy to watch and a cynical bastard like me can't help but wonder if it's all 100% genuine. Anyhoo, Rae Chi and her brother and sister were all crying and then we had to help her mother stand up and move to a chair where she sat, stricken and unable to talk for a while. And suddenly, the music stopped and the priest left. It seemed a bit abrupt, but I was happy to see that end. So we sat down and had dinner. It was low key, and after dinner I left. When you leave, you can't say goodbye (the chinese goodbye means "see you again" and you don't want to see them again in these circumstances, so you just leave) though RC's brother made a mistake and did say bye bye to me.

I'm very glad I got to see that, though the experience was a little draining. Not nearly as draining as it must have been for the rest of the family though, since they had to sit with the body over night to "make sure no wild animals come" I was told. In the morning, I guess they took it somewhere for cremation. Things didn't end until 1pm Sunday afternoon. That must have been hard - being sleepy and emotionally fragile is not really the best place to be in my opinion. I guess it gives them time to grieve and have family support during a difficult time, though a good night's sleep is also nice to have.

Kao san guest house?

I think this might have been the guest house that we stayed in. Maybe. I should have checked the rooms to see if they still have ceiling fans. But they didn't advertise rooms. And it used to be dirtier and more disconcerting. Or maybe I am just older and less easily disconcerted.

Kao San photos

Cleaner than it used to be.

Kao San revisited (more Thailand)

And so, feeling nostalgic for the good old days, and aware of C's recent facebook comment about the tuk tuk, I decided to take a tuk tuk to Kao San Road. I really hate the tuk tuks - always trying to rip you off, take you someplace you don't want to go. And the best you can do is always going to be about the same as a taxi ride, which would have air con, no rip offs, and a more comfortable, safe, clean air type ride. Anyway, it was for old time's sake. Got to Kao San Rd. which was always kinda sleazy, but the interesting things that excited me when I first went there had diminished. Fewer shady guest houses, fewer burnt out hippies, more fast food chains and boredom. The book "The Beach" which wrote about that scene and seemed recognizable from the experience I had there, will be a purely historical document for those in the future. And it made me a little sad, even if that thing was slightly horrible and definitely sleazy. I'm glad I got to experience it before it disappeared, I guess.

More Wat Pho photos

Wat Pho photos

A reclining buddha, etc.

Sunday in Thailand (3)

The next day, Saturday, I did nothing. Hung out at the pool, read a book, did a little shopping. Went for a little walk around a neighborhood, ate some good noodles, bbq pork, and wonton soup with vinegar chilis. That was it.

Sunday, I was more active. I wanted to do some touristy things, so I went to the biggest temple in Bangkok, Wat Pho. Saw a very nice reclining Buddha. Lots of fun statues and little stupas. This temple is known as a base for thai medicine and massage, so I was thinking about that, but the massage I found was priced too far beyond the norm for Bangkok. Lots of interesting shops selling medicine with Thai labels. I was interested in something for my stomach (the green papaya salad was SO spicy) but they were unwelcoming. The food stands, on the other hand, were very interesting, and the lime leaf pork I had was really delicious. I hung around this area, checking out the temple and surrounding area, until my feet hurt too much and I needed a break.

Fever Pitch

While I was in Thailand, I read Nick Hornby's Fever Pitch. I've never liked his movies particularly- they always seem kind of smug and pleased to be English. Like Hugh Grant himself, the movies just slightly rub me the wrong way. But I read the book because it's ostensibly about Arsenal and I was curious. And I enjoyed it. Despite the fact that it was all about a time that is long gone, I found some of the observations about being a sports fan accurate. The appreciation of pain and suffering was particularly valid. I also identified with the cathartic nature of victory and the almost religious tendency to associate the team's ups and downs with one's own. The writing was a little smug, but not too objectionable, and the pages turned quickly. So, not bad. Of course, I identified even more with the long suffering of Arsenal fans after the team blew a 2-0 lead at the very end of the game to a lousy West Ham team.

Thailand 2

The next day I didn't do too much. Walked around my neighborhood, hung out by the pool and read Fever Pitch, basically took it easy. I made the mistake of asking for a restaurant to eat at. Invariably in Thailand, the more expensive and the more westerners involved, the worse the food. So going to the restaurant that the hotel recommends for foreigners, with an English speaking waiter, was not a good idea. Dinner wasn't terrible, but it was 4 times as expensive as any other meal and was the worst meal of the trip. Oh well. After that, I went to see the muay thai, which was pretty fun. The price had doubled since the last time I went (almost 4 years ago) but I got a free CD. Sad I forgot a camera. The fights were kind of interesting - it's also really interesting to see the section with all the thai guys screaming and betting (I sat in the weak foreigner section - I can't bring myself to stand for so long. And I saw them refuse to sell the cheaper ticket to another foreigner, so maybe there was no choice).

Thailand 1

When I got into Bangkok I was tired and cranky. I got off the plane (very small seats - the asian discount airline, but happily I was able to get a little sleep. Worrying that they had a sign by check in that said "we no longer allow guns aboard the airplane, with pictures of the guns they don't allow) and foolishly booked the first ride into Bangkok (4 times as expensive as my ride back from the hotel to the airport, and I gave that guy a tip!). Almost changed money there as well, but it was such a huge rip off I just couldn't accept it. Thankfully I still had a few baht from last time I was in Thailand. Got in to the hotel and felt tired, and pissed about the rip offs. Drank a few beers and watched soccer on TV which helped me relax a great deal. Had a good nights sleep. The room was ok - smelled a little of stale cigarette smoke, but basically clean and comfortable. Had a microwave and big fridge. I enjoyed the pool on the roof with a nice view of the neighborhood. It was very nice to have a bit more summer. I spent plenty of time up there, dipping in the pool and reading Fever Pitch. The location was excellent - 10 minute walk to the Taiwan consulate, and a free tuktuk type thing to the local MRT. Plus, it was located in a residential area away from all the sleaze and nearby lots of food stands and interesting places to walk. I was happy with it.

pingxi train

I have a wierd thing about round windows and passageways. This made me fantasize about getting one of these cars and turning it into a diner, something Taiwan needs. Maybe....

my weekend

I had a very nice weekend, taking a trip up to Pingxi and the small towns on the train line nearby. We got off the train at a stop that had nothing but a little house with a very loud chicken clucking away. The weather was perfect- sunny with a little breeze and not too hot. I've spent too long in the city, and the air up there was sweet and clean. We walked by the railroad tracks, ignoring the signs saying not to walk there. We walked through a tunnel, but everywhere we walked had plenty of space to move over if a train showed up. Eventually we could hear a waterfall, which was probably beautiful, but some jerk owned the only land where you could see it. Apparently, he had been charging 100 nt., which really is too much to see a waterfall on public land, and the government told him so. Now there was a battle between this guy and the government. The upshot being, he chained off the space and no one could see the damn thing. Oh well. We kept walking and eventually came to a little town called shi fen. It had a few touristy things, but hadn't been too built up yet, which was kind of nice. We had an unimpressive but overpriced lunch. The most expensive thing was young bamboo shoots. They were different from bamboo I've had before, and interesting, but I wish I could have had a better cook cooking it. We walked around a little bit, then got back on the train to see the next little town. This one was really small, and it only took a few minutes to see everything. We waited a long time to get an ice cream wrap (taro ice cream wrapped in a spring roll wrapper with cilantro and ground peanut brittle) but it wasn't exceptional. Near the train station I could smell jasmine flowers, which was nice. Unfortunately, while waiting for the train, some guy spilled his milky soda down in my shoe, which sucked. I unintentionally said "THANKS!" really loudly after he did it. He was polite about it and obviously felt bad, so I tried to tell him it was fine, no problem, just a little bit, but I wasn't too happy to have a wet, sticky spot on my foot for the rest of the day. We finally got to the last town in the area, another tiny little place. There was a nice, old japanese wooden house that had served as quarters for people overseeing the mining in the area, but they wanted too much money to see a small house so we skipped it. Another long wait in line and we got two fried chicken rolls which were excellent (I will try to get a blog about them on my new food blog soon). A nap on the way home on the train, and all in all a nice day trip.

Now, I'm hustling to take care of annoying bureaucratic issues, including my visa which is about to expire. Looks like I'll be in Bangkok on Friday trying to take care of it. I wish I had a little time to be a tourist there, but to save money it will be all business. Maybe I can drink beer and watch Muay Thai on Friday night. It was nice to pull in some cash at my temp job, but it reminded me that teaching is just a way to make money and not something I'm in love with at this point. A few possibilities have shown up, but nothing definite yet. I'll keep hammering away.

sick and typhoon

This past weekend was the moon festival here, which traditionally means bbq's, pomelos, and moon cakes. And this time I actually partook of all three. We went to a bbq at RC's home, where I ate some cake, a piece of pomelo (I did wear the pomelo peel on my head at a certain point), and some bbq. Also drank some beer with RC's dad. Which wasn't really very bright. Since I was feeling sick. My fever got worse afterwards and I spent a long night sleeping fitfully and sweating. Spent all day yesterday taking it easy, skipping out the martial arts thing I was going to go see with Dan. Clearly I made the right choice since I felt better today. And that was good because this evening I worked 3 hours substituting at a school in Tucheng. I haven't taught it over a year, so I was a little nervous. It went Ok, I guess, though the school was very poorly run. No manager at the school, unclear lesson plans, teacher's assistants who don't do anything or actually even stay in the classroom. Kinda crazy, makes me appreciate Kojen or even the YMCA. I'm just a sub, so it doesn't really matter too much. Just a little annoying. A few moments of fun, but not as much fun as I would like to have with my work. Whatever. It's a paycheck. I enjoyed the cheap Paht Thai and Spicy sour kong xin cai I got from my local thai place afterwards. I'm looking forward to seeing Edward Yang's Yi Yi (A One and a Two) that I have waiting for me. Tonight might just involve watching TV show episodes (the last few Mad Men) that I haven't seen yet. And hopefully lots of sleep. It's very typhoon-y at the moment, which makes me sleepy. Not looking forward to the rainy-ness of winter here. I hope I can swing some kind of tropical vacation to take a break.

today

I just watched Roman Polanski, Wanted and Desired and enjoyed it. Such an interesting life that guy has had and survived. You wouldn't want to get in a fist-fight with a guy that tough. It's really hard to believe that the US would want him back to rehash this case which can only look bad for the American legal system. If he just stayed in France that would be better for them - I wonder if this wasn't orchestrated by Polanski's lawyers to force the USA to accept defeat on this case. The movie also reminded me how much I enjoy his movies. It's interesting to see John Huston in Chinatown because Polanski is a director more like Huston's generation of Hollywood directors- interested and good at so many things. I'm going to have to watch some of those old films again.

Other than that, things continue on. My sickness has settled in to stay for a while in my sinuses, which is nice. I may be able to get some short term (maybe just a week) substitute work starting next week - have to go talk to the boss today, which is less fun with a cold. It was nice to see Lyon on Wednesday and eat HK style fried noodles. Walked around Zhongxiao Fuxing and I bought some Wen Shan Bao Zhong tea which is fun to drink. The weather is fairly cool today, so maybe I won't be soaked with sweat all day. I dare to dream. I've been listening to Grizzly Bear for the last couple of days - some of it I like but I guess I don't love it.

random

I'm feeling a bit ill today, have a mild cough and feel a little weak. Went to buy a bunch of fruit (including pamplemousse) and got to sweat a bunch. Still nice and humid, despite the heavy rain last night. My right shoulder is sore, which is fun. I still want to lift weights today to keep my mood solid, but I have to be careful. I'm starting a new blog to focus on food, and maybe I will be more regular here, posting random thoughts and, uh, feelings *cough*.

I read today that they are going to extradite Polanski from Switzerland to the USA. I always wondered why they hadn't grabbed him before - I guess it's because the judge did some crazy things with the trial, ignoring plea bargains and such. Anyway, I'm working to see Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired which tells the story, I guess. I thought his last few films were just OK, but earlier movies like Chinatown, Knife in the Water, and Rosemary's Baby were all excellent.

RC and I watched the entire first season of True Blood this weekend. I enjoyed it, though the show could be a lot better. The human stories are kind of boring, it's really only interesting to learn about the vampires. I'm most interested in their back stories, though they haven't given us very much of that. The sex is pretty nice and explicit, I guess that's good. Better writing would be better, though.

I saw Land of the Lost yesterday. Of course it's just junk, but I still get one or two small laughs from Will Ferrell. They are getting smaller though. I prefer his TV show with his LOTL co-star, Eastbound & Down, though that could be better as well. I was watching his clips on funny or die (www.funnyordie.com) and thinking that, like all of his work, they're kind of funny but they could be funnier. Stepbrothers isn't solid all the way through, but it has great moments. Only Elf and his masterpiece Old School show him at his best.

Other than that, I'm just stressing about not having a job and playing Sudoko to take my mind off of it. I'm at a loss as to where else to go with resumes at this point. It's a bit humiliating not being able to get such a low status job, especially when I know a lot of people who have these jobs who won't be joining MENSA any time soon. It's especially annoying since all the plans I have for things I want to do (including ideas to do things other than teach English) require a steady income stream and a visa that allows me to stay in the country. What a drag.

sun moon lake 6

I was especially drawn to the chicken coops. Each tribe had their own design and they were all interesting. The pic above is me next to one. I also got to try some archery which i really enjoyed. i hit a balloon and got a free arrow, it's difficult to aim, but i find i enjoy games where i have to hit a target. maybe i will do some more archery, it seems like a strange thing to be interested in but it's kind of fun. And seeing zen archery when i was in hawaii as a kid really made an impression on me. anyway, it was fun.

And that's it. We went home (the return trip was quicker with less traffic) and even though it was the best or most relaxing vacation, i kind of missed it when it was over.

sun moon lake 5

Finally, we went to the aboriginal park on the last day. This place was a wierd combination - half culture park museum, half amusement park. This can be somewhat explained by their interest in attracting school groups. Parents, teachers, etc. want field trips to have some educational value but actually kids don't care and just want to go on the dumb rides. So this place, with recreations of the villages and carving of various aboriginal tribes in taiwan next to a roller coaster and other stuff like that. I didnt ride the rides (other than the gondola which took us to the top of the hill so we could walk to the bottom and see the villages) but i enjoyed the villages. You can see me next to some recreations of skulls above. Taiwan had several tribes who were headhunters, and they would display the skulls of fallen enemies as warnings, much like me and the dead mosquitoes i leave on my ceiling.

sun moon lake 4

The last day, we went on a boat ride around the lake. The picture of me with the ridiculous sunglasses was next to an island that was holy for the aboriginal people. Then the japanese flooded the lake with a dam (which used to be able to supply all of taiwan with power) and all that remained of the island was the tip. Now it's surrounded by this floating thing and only tribe members are allowed to walk on the sacred land.

sun moon lake 3

Here's me with the moon at sun moon lake. Maybe you can see a little lake behind me, but the sun is the opposite direction and in the process of setting, so don't expect to see that. There was a nice little wharf to enjoy the moonrise from, though the sunset disappeared behind mountains before it became too interesting.

sun moon lake 2

This is me at the love temple, dedicated to lovers and male and female energy. I'm next to the dragon, symbol of masculine energy. There was also a phoenix, a symbol of feminine energy. I was there at 5 pm, when they rang a bell and banged a drum, signifying the switch from yang (male) energy dominance to yin (female) energy. It was very interesting, and you could see couples praying together. Sun moon lake is a famous honeymoon destination, though I have to say that it's not exactly Paris as far as being romantic goes. And the food, which I consider important to any romantic experience, was not good. On this evening I had my most expensive dinner, and it was terrible, the worst, with slow service. Next time I will stick with the street food (the deep fried mushrooms and fried wild boar with onions that I bought on the street was the best meal I had.)